alexbutrandomthoughts:

“Can’t two guys be just friends?” If they stop looking at each other like that then sure

manekinekocake:

ladyshinga:

fandomsandfeminism:

kineticpenguin:

thyrell:

“ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?” uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen me and i need to have sex immediately

Every time someone’s like “who are you gonna call when you get robbed?”

1. Know how I know you’ve never been robbed?

2. I am going to call my insurance company and file a claim, the only usefulness a cop has at this point is generating a report number for said insurance company to refer to

3. Seriously all a cop’s gonna do after establishing that the robber/burglar/whoever isn’t there anymore is say “what do you want me to do about it?” and leave

Also:

Law enforcement took more stuff from people than burglars did last year

Federal asset forfeitures topped burglary losses for the first time in 2014.

Washington Post

So, ya know.

“Oh if you hate cops so much and get robbed, what then huh?”

“Statistically speaking, ask them for my shit back”

bellefyre:

justnoodlefishthings:

new gender just dropped

Gender:

girlnephew:

ariconnie48:

unmeltable-snow:

unmeltable-snow:

why are terrible celebrity imagines so funny. how do i find more of these without suffering the indignity of searching “bts imagines”

more of these please

asimovsideburns:

suturewire:

suturewire:

from the greatest jackbox game I’ve ever been a part of

high quality versions

mtfoss:

mtfoss:

The fact that the government can say youre not too disabled to work while jobs wont hire you because youre too disabled is like pure evil tbqh

People think were so fucking lazy but most disabled people i know literally sacrifice their health to survive

soberscientistlife:

targuzzler:

nintendosexgod:

as a kid, i used to think that telekinesis really was possible if you could focus all of your brainpower to it. obviously, i was a fucking stupid little kid.

too stupid to unlock telekinesis like everyone else apparently lmaooo

wizardpostsdotorg:

wizardpostsdotorg:

so hard to explain your personal inside jokes but. okay so every time i roll a joint i’m like hmm how much is left in the tray.. about a joints worth..

and then i get caught up thinking about a weed butler named jointsworth

thank you jointsworth

undeadentropy:

lilithism1848:

She’s looking out for you. Don’t kill yourself for a company that defines you as an asset

agentpan:

thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else